6 years of Phoebe being aware of her differences. She knows that her body is not acting right...how differently it does things...how differently it reacts to illnesses. She knows when she cannot do things like her sisters...how easily her muscles tire out..how her breathing becomes harder. She sees the difference between herself and her peers...how different her body looks, especially when she’s flaring up....how she does some things differently because it is easier on her body.
She knows she has a large team of doctors. She knows how to answer their questions and explain to them, in her own way, how her body feels. She knows that we leave each appointment with her still feeling the same as the last appointment.
Yet through it all, she keeps a sparkle in her eye. An enigmatic sparkle. One that makes you think she knows something the rest of us don’t know.
That sparkle is why I am certain she has known from the very beginning. She has had that sparkle since the moment she was born 5 weeks early. Almost like she has always known that she had something important to teach us all.